The Ends of Being and Ideal Grace

It hit me in the midst of indecisiveness, unkempt thesis notes and uncapped pens.

I am done with cold, hard, passive men.

I am done with men of few words. I am over men who are as cool (or as cold, depending on the context) as ice inside and outside. I have suffered enough of men who refuse to take control, of men I can bull over. I am tired of men who are not man enough to make decisions for themselves. Meaning, I am done with nearly all the men I have ever loved in my life. :x

I have always been a sucker for silent, brooding, mysterious men. I fancy them going all out of their shell for me. I longed to stir the passion in some quiet guy. Hey, it happened in the movies and to people I know! But again, they're the exception and I'm the rule. It doesn't mean that I'm going for noisy loud guys now. Some are noisy but hollow and some that are quiet are not what they seem. The point is, some guys just don't have fire in them. They're all water, going with the flow, conforming to the norm - silent waters running deep.

I've always been the fiery, feisty type typical to people who like the color red. If I was not a brunette, I guess I would be a redhead; strawberry blonde, kissed by fire. I admit I don't have much of the fierce redhead temper but I burn when I feel passionate about something, when I'm in control of things and they turn out the way I want them to. That's right, Katy Perry, I'm a firework.

You know that bit about how opposites truly attract? There are some documented cases of  it happening to people but it's only forever true for magnets, electrons, holes and EEE 23. I thought attraction, relationships and finding "The One" were like a jigsaw puzzle with pieces interlocking flawlessly. But I guess it should be more like a painting, blending the paint and applying it to the canvas to make a masterpiece. It's more about melding together than completing each other.

I've always thought that I'd hit it off with cold men, that my warmth would be enough for the both of us. But I'm not as convinced now. Maybe it should be that my warmth should ignite his passions. After all, two fires are warmer than one. Come on, for Christ's sake. Argue with me (reasonably), take over, show me who's boss, tell me what to do, push for your idea. subdue me, dominate me. Really. You have to be man enough to do that to me. I have to respect you enough. To have a power over me, I have to allow you. And I realize, it takes balls bro, and personality and reason and smarts and fire. :D